Remembering Nitesh & finding purpose of this life

Celebrating Spirit of Nitesh's Life!

It has been a month since my love, Nitesh left his physical body to become divine light.
It takes a lot to get through each second of the day, as every conscious moment is a reminder of his absence. The sense of loss got heightened to the extent that days felt like months and the sorrow seemed to bring time to a standstill.

Nitesh was my world. My sole purpose to live revolved around his existence and now it feels so empty without him. I find it difficult to make sense of what happened. Every time the finality of the situation sinks in, my world seems to come crashing down, all over again. One moment he was right here with me, and in the next, he is somehow gone. I understand that the course of our lives has changed forever, but I instinctively keep looking out for him even now.

Every time I remember him, I also am reminded of the mission we had together vowed to set on. Nitesh was my motivation to wake up every morning and my inspiration to fight. With him not around, there are times I feel I don't have the energy to do anything. It feels like there is a void in my heart, making it difficult for me to breathe. I try to take up new activities to distract myself. For a moment I feel better and start to think of something else but then the mind retracts and the guilt that fills me is unexplainable. I feel guilty for being the one who got left behind. The one person I used to run to, to share even the simplest of thoughts. Every time I see the portrayal of love, be it between a couple, a bunch of friends or a parent and child, I feel happy for them because it truly is a blessing to be able to share one’s love. No matter in which form. No matter with who. Hold on close to those around you, it is the only thing that matters in life.