World Hospice Day with Gujarat Cancer Society

Today on the auspicious occasion of World Hospice Day, the founder of Love Heals Cancer Dimple Parmar was cordially invited by the Gujarat Cancer Society as a special panelist and Cancer counselor. Dimple gave her expert opinion and advice on the topic of Colostomy and talked about our founding principle of using love and care to heal Cancer.

Dimple Parmar: Marrying Into Cancer -- and Finding Love_Transcript by Service Space

Oct 13, 2018

Guest: Dimple Parmar
Host: Aryae Coopersmith
Moderator: Emily Barr

Welcome to Awakin Calls. Every Saturday, we host a conversation with an individual whose inner journey inspires us and whose work is transforming our world in large and small ways. Awakin Calls are an all-volunteer-run offering of Service Space, a global platform founded on the simple principle that that by changing ourselves, we change the world, to create a more compassionate and service-oriented society. Thank you for joining us!

Aryae: Well, good morning, good afternoon and good evening. My name is Aryae and I'm really excited to be your host for our weekly Global Awakin Call. Welcome and thank you for joining us. Now the purpose of these calls is to share stories that helped plant seeds for more compassionate society while fostering our own inner transformation. And we do this by holding collective conversations with guest speakers from all walks of life, who inspires us to live in a more service-oriented way. And behind each of these calls is entire team of service based volunteers whose invisible work allows us to hold this space.

Today, our special guest speaker is Dimple Parmar. Thank you for joining our call. Let us start with a minute of silence to anchor ourselves into the space. A minute of silence, please.  

Nuggets From Dimple Parmar's Awakin Call

Last Saturday, we had the privilege of hosting Awakin Call with Dimple Parmar.

The founder of Love Heals Cancer based in Delhi, India, Dimple Parmar is a force to be reckoned with. Determined to serve humanity and bring a smile to everyone's face, she is a person who believes in letting the power of love and care engulf one’s life. After losing her loving partner and husband Nitesh Prajapat to the formidable disease at an extremely young age (and having married him even after he received a Stage IV cancer diagnosis), Dimple has applied her business and entrepreneurial skills to guide and support those battling cancer. Her organization aims to provide information on natural self-care – healthy food, meditation, and exercise – and complementary therapies to heal body, mind, and soul. She also aims to assist with the emotional and spiritual dimensions of cancer, aiding families to discover that illness can sometimes lead to a richer and fuller life, and offering genuine community for those facing a cancer diagnosis,

We'll post the transcript of the call soon, but till then, some of the nuggets that stood out from the call ....

• "Not spending enough time when I was a kid with my dying grandmother was something I regretted for years."
• "And I decided that in the future, if anyone asked me to spend time with them, I would choose that over studies/work. "
• "After Nitesh was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer, he said, 'Are you sure you want to marry me?' And I said, 'Yeah, I'm very sure.'"
• Dimple said to Nitesh, "You are incredible, you are so selfless and loving, how can a person be like this?" And she now believes that that was his time to go, when he was in this pure state. A few days later, he was in the ICU.
• "His physical body was greatly weakened over the last few months, but he was calm and happy."
• "During his last days, his heart was full of joy."
• "I came to, what can I do right now to help him prepare for his death."

The Beginning of Love Heals Cancer

This is the story of two Brave Hearts: Nitesh & Dimple. It is an Ode to their struggles against Cancer and an immortalization of the lessons learned from the experience.

Nestled in the lap of seven lakes sits the campus of IIM Calcutta. Affectionately known as IIM Joka, it is home to many budding Entrepreneurs and future Corporate Honchos. It was here that fate brought together Dimple Parmar and Nitesh Prajapat and thus began a journey that proved to be larger than life. 

Entrepreneurs with the vision to make a mark in their respective fields, Dimple and Nitesh shared the desire to see their ideas take shape and come to fruition. Young and Passionate, their love for the world of business brought them together. As they grew closer, they cherished their similarities and complemented each other's differences. With the warmth of the other's presence, they were nothing short of a power couple. They enjoyed a fast-paced student life with short deadlines and intimidating goals. But a turn of fate brought it all to a halt. 

Letter to Michael Lerner about Nitesh's dreams

Dear Michael,

Greetings:)

This is with reference to the letter written to you by Kim (with ref to Sarah). As I was reading "Choices of healing" and about my favorite topic Death, I landed upon this letter by Kim and read it multiple times. I got goosebumps and very excited about reading this because this is the exact same thing happened to me with my late husband Nitesh.

After Nitesh's death (March 14th, 2018), my only concern was "If he is okay up there?". I used to ask God and Nitesh to tell me if he is happy up there. Two months after his death, I got 5 dreams in 2 weeks and all 5 were almost the same (he was not well in the beginning and then he completely recovered). I want to share those 5 dreams with you in short:

1) June 1st, 2018: He was not well and he was admitted to the hospital. I was visiting him every day. He was getting better and better and started playing, laughing with the kids in the hospital. Last day he said, Go home dear Dimple, I am completely fine now :)

2) June 8th, 2018: When I was planning for my return trip to India, He came to my dream, I was surprised and I told him, you are right here with me. Then why did I book only one ticket to India? Wait, lemme book your ticket as well. He said, I don't need a ticket to go there, but I will always be there with you like this.

Remembering Nitesh & finding purpose of this life

Celebrating Spirit of Nitesh's Life!

It has been a month since my love, Nitesh left his physical body to become divine light.
It takes a lot to get through each second of the day, as every conscious moment is a reminder of his absence. The sense of loss got heightened to the extent that days felt like months and the sorrow seemed to bring time to a standstill.

Nitesh was my world. My sole purpose to live revolved around his existence and now it feels so empty without him. I find it difficult to make sense of what happened. Every time the finality of the situation sinks in, my world seems to come crashing down, all over again. One moment he was right here with me, and in the next, he is somehow gone. I understand that the course of our lives has changed forever, but I instinctively keep looking out for him even now.

Every time I remember him, I also am reminded of the mission we had together vowed to set on. Nitesh was my motivation to wake up every morning and my inspiration to fight. With him not around, there are times I feel I don't have the energy to do anything. It feels like there is a void in my heart, making it difficult for me to breathe. I try to take up new activities to distract myself. For a moment I feel better and start to think of something else but then the mind retracts and the guilt that fills me is unexplainable. I feel guilty for being the one who got left behind. The one person I used to run to, to share even the simplest of thoughts. Every time I see the portrayal of love, be it between a couple, a bunch of friends or a parent and child, I feel happy for them because it truly is a blessing to be able to share one’s love. No matter in which form. No matter with who. Hold on close to those around you, it is the only thing that matters in life.

Letter to Nitesh after he passed away

To my family, friends and all the beautiful souls

Our Nitesh has departed for a better place. On March 14th at 10 AM (PST) our fighter moved on to a new home where he is absolved of the limitations of a physical body. For the past one month, he had been on the ventilator and had come close to death thrice in the past three days. His willpower was forever strong, his love for us ever present. But God had better plans written.

To us, Cancer was by far the most influential teacher of our lives. It completely changed our outlook toward this brief period of existence on Earth. It made us value every single second we spent with each other and showed us that we were capable of emoting a love so pure, that we ourselves were shocked by the sheer strength of it.

And in the end, Cancer LOST.

Nitesh might have been taken away in the bodily form, but he still lives. His passion to defeat cancer with love and elevate the lives of people still lives. His resilient attitude that made him live for 2 whole months more, even when doctors estimated only a couple of days, still lives. And as long as we live, he lives. He lives through our actions and promises to help the rest of humankind. His legacy is indestructible as long as there is life on Earth.

Suffering is a new joy:

Sometimes suffering is not suffering. Those last days with Nitesh, I would gladly suffer again. It was an honor to hold him as he let go. It was a joy to put his needs first. It was a joy to ask, “Can you talk?” and be in love with whatever was true. It was the joy to cherish him, to understand that love is love and death can never kill a love like that. Suffering is not suffering. Suffering is a new joy :)
This is the last photo we had together. It's not about how much we live, it's about the way we live :)

#MovedByLove #Love #Giving #Gratitude#Compassion #BeautifulDeathLifeCycle

That fighting spirit of Nitesh

We faced a heavy blow today. Nitesh's latest scans report says that the current treatment has stopped working. We have been advised to explore more clinical trials on an urgent basis.

The past two years have been an unending struggle for me and my love. Nitesh is my world and when my world shook up, all of you came to our rescue. Where we are now is because you supported and guided us. You prayed for us, focussed all your efforts in aligning situations, people and opportunities in our favor.
With your help, we did all we could to take on this ordeal. And it is through your support that WE WILL WIN.

Ode to our friend Tom Marsilje: A cancer fighter & cancer scientist

This is an Ode to our friend Tom Marsilje, who received his wings on Nov 14th.

A few months ago, we got to know of Tom Marsilje (Dr Thomas Marsilje) while searching for the right course of action for Nitesh. Tom, who was himself fighting Colorectal Cancer resolved to help humanity out by starting Late Stage MSS-CRC Trial Finder http://trialfinder.fightcrc.org/ to ensure that lack of timely information does not get in the way of Colorectal Cancer treatment. 

He himself was suffering from Stage 4 Colorectal Cancer and undergoing painful treatment. The level of maturity he has displayed is an example for all of us to carry throughout our lives.
It goes without saying that the first thing we wanted to do on landing in USA was to meet Tom. We got to spend a sunny afternoon with him in San Diego. For an unknown reason, we felt there was a higher power behind making it possible. He inspired us to fight and is our go-to person, was an ever guiding light.

That smile in pain :)

The art of life under tough circumstances involves finding a way to live with the pain and losses that cannot be avoided, finding a way to cope with or even transform the fears and stresses that inevitably come, and finding out whether in the midst of the pain, loss, fear, and stress, anything of value–anything that enriches life–may also come out of all this hardship. The teaching of the perennial philosophy is that out of pain and hardship some of the greatest gains in life can come.