Dimple Parmar: Marrying Into Cancer -- and Finding Love_Transcript by Service Space

Oct 13, 2018

Guest: Dimple Parmar
Host: Aryae Coopersmith
Moderator: Emily Barr

Welcome to Awakin Calls. Every Saturday, we host a conversation with an individual whose inner journey inspires us and whose work is transforming our world in large and small ways. Awakin Calls are an all-volunteer-run offering of Service Space, a global platform founded on the simple principle that that by changing ourselves, we change the world, to create a more compassionate and service-oriented society. Thank you for joining us!

Aryae: Well, good morning, good afternoon and good evening. My name is Aryae and I'm really excited to be your host for our weekly Global Awakin Call. Welcome and thank you for joining us. Now the purpose of these calls is to share stories that helped plant seeds for more compassionate society while fostering our own inner transformation. And we do this by holding collective conversations with guest speakers from all walks of life, who inspires us to live in a more service-oriented way. And behind each of these calls is entire team of service based volunteers whose invisible work allows us to hold this space.

Today, our special guest speaker is Dimple Parmar. Thank you for joining our call. Let us start with a minute of silence to anchor ourselves into the space. A minute of silence, please.  

Nuggets From Dimple Parmar's Awakin Call

Last Saturday, we had the privilege of hosting Awakin Call with Dimple Parmar.

The founder of Love Heals Cancer based in Delhi, India, Dimple Parmar is a force to be reckoned with. Determined to serve humanity and bring a smile to everyone's face, she is a person who believes in letting the power of love and care engulf one’s life. After losing her loving partner and husband Nitesh Prajapat to the formidable disease at an extremely young age (and having married him even after he received a Stage IV cancer diagnosis), Dimple has applied her business and entrepreneurial skills to guide and support those battling cancer. Her organization aims to provide information on natural self-care – healthy food, meditation, and exercise – and complementary therapies to heal body, mind, and soul. She also aims to assist with the emotional and spiritual dimensions of cancer, aiding families to discover that illness can sometimes lead to a richer and fuller life, and offering genuine community for those facing a cancer diagnosis,

We'll post the transcript of the call soon, but till then, some of the nuggets that stood out from the call ....

• "Not spending enough time when I was a kid with my dying grandmother was something I regretted for years."
• "And I decided that in the future, if anyone asked me to spend time with them, I would choose that over studies/work. "
• "After Nitesh was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer, he said, 'Are you sure you want to marry me?' And I said, 'Yeah, I'm very sure.'"
• Dimple said to Nitesh, "You are incredible, you are so selfless and loving, how can a person be like this?" And she now believes that that was his time to go, when he was in this pure state. A few days later, he was in the ICU.
• "His physical body was greatly weakened over the last few months, but he was calm and happy."
• "During his last days, his heart was full of joy."
• "I came to, what can I do right now to help him prepare for his death."

Five Questions

What Makes You Come Alive? Life is nothing but a short fleeting second that although doesn't last long but teaches you a lot. I love talking to people and understanding what drives them to struggle against this frailty of life. And in this jest of theirs, I enjoy lending them a helping hand and smiling as they bask in the glory of healing.I know how quickly death comes, and that's why I understand the value of Life. The temporary nature of life makes me realize the reality of mortality and live in the present moment every day and every second. Your Greatest Inspiration? My life experience with Nitesh, my late husband, has changed my life and point of view completely. My soul has been deeply touched by the love & blessings of thousands of people who were there with us on this journey to fight Cancer. After Nitesh got diagnosed with Cancer, I could see him transforming as he got closer to the end. Yet, in the end, he still was -as he had always been- a pure and kind soul who just wanted to serve people. The entire pilgrimage starting from Nitesh getting Cancer, then me helping him, us falling in love, getting married, moving to the US and Nitesh's peaceful passing away, transformed me as a person and gave me my realize purpose in life.

Service Space Ahmedabad Family, Gandhi Ashram & Moved By Love Retreat

After having a wonderful time in the US, it is time to visit a very sacred place which became my first home now, Gandhi Ashram, Sabarmati. I reached Ahmedabad at a very odd time of morning 3 am and it was Devesh bhai who got up at 3:00 am and showed me my place. Next morning on 5th July, Diken welcomed me to Gandhi Ashram and I was deeply touched by the way he arranged everything for me. He made me feel at home. We had delicious breakfast at Nimo’s which was supposed to be a surprise :P Thanks to Nimo for making my day which began with Indo-American breakfast followed by morning 10 am prayer at Manav Sadhna :) Sarva Dharma Sambhav (All religions are same). That's what we believe in.

The same evening I and Diken visited Ekta, who is 23 yr old jolly person going through terminal cancer and has 6 months to live. I am happy that I could meet her and give her some comfort. We had a long conversation about Life and Death and it helped her in letting her emotions out. She said she likes to do the painting but her walls were empty. Then after a few days, she sent me pictures of her recent paintings. the activity chart I shared with her, she wrote it on her wall and said I will follow it very religiously and she would visit Gandhi Ashram too:) I learned this from you all only that even if we are able to bring the smile to one person in a day, we have made our day. Be selfish, Be generous. I got very emotional when she sent me pictures of her paintings. Wow.

Return to India

With folded hands, smiling face and heart filled with gratitude,

As I return home, it is time for me to bid goodbye to my family here in the USA and thank the multitude of people who stood by us through our battle.
Needless to say, Nitesh and I are deeply touched by the numerous gestures by so many strangers who we warmly consider as our friends now. Thank you for welcoming us into your homes, feeding and clothing us; and easing our pain along the way.

I would humbly like to thank the IIT-IIM strong alumni network, Soka Gakkai International (SGI) , ServiceSpace, Guruji Sangat, and Karia family for adopting us and taking care of us. My deepest gratitude to all those people who supported us emotionally, logistically, informationally and financially. Your blessings ensured that Nitesh was happy till the very end. I thank you for making it easy for us. This has transformed us and we want to do the same for others.

Service Space family in the US

Wow. Life is beautiful, and the people are wonderful. I thank God and my late husband Nitesh for showing me the path of love and care. After losing the only love I have known in life, at the age of 27, it is nothing short of a rebirth for me with so much love, compassion, gratitude, courage, and support coming my way.

All of this started with my journey with Service space. From the smoldering ashes of the past, a flower blossomed when the founder of Service Space, Nipun, walked into my life. I met many kind souls on this beautiful journey, the first of whom was Nipun bhaiya. He opened New dimension of possibilities with Love for me :) 

I humbly bow down to him for everything he has done for me. I learned from him, LEAD WITH LOVE & CHANGE THE WORLD. I met Nipun bhaiya first in Berkeley, and with that meeting, a new journey began. :)

Remembering Nitesh & finding purpose of this life

Celebrating Spirit of Nitesh's Life!

It has been a month since my love, Nitesh left his physical body to become divine light.
It takes a lot to get through each second of the day, as every conscious moment is a reminder of his absence. The sense of loss got heightened to the extent that days felt like months and the sorrow seemed to bring time to a standstill.

Nitesh was my world. My sole purpose to live revolved around his existence and now it feels so empty without him. I find it difficult to make sense of what happened. Every time the finality of the situation sinks in, my world seems to come crashing down, all over again. One moment he was right here with me, and in the next, he is somehow gone. I understand that the course of our lives has changed forever, but I instinctively keep looking out for him even now.

Every time I remember him, I also am reminded of the mission we had together vowed to set on. Nitesh was my motivation to wake up every morning and my inspiration to fight. With him not around, there are times I feel I don't have the energy to do anything. It feels like there is a void in my heart, making it difficult for me to breathe. I try to take up new activities to distract myself. For a moment I feel better and start to think of something else but then the mind retracts and the guilt that fills me is unexplainable. I feel guilty for being the one who got left behind. The one person I used to run to, to share even the simplest of thoughts. Every time I see the portrayal of love, be it between a couple, a bunch of friends or a parent and child, I feel happy for them because it truly is a blessing to be able to share one’s love. No matter in which form. No matter with who. Hold on close to those around you, it is the only thing that matters in life.

Letter to Nitesh after he passed away

To my family, friends and all the beautiful souls

Our Nitesh has departed for a better place. On March 14th at 10 AM (PST) our fighter moved on to a new home where he is absolved of the limitations of a physical body. For the past one month, he had been on the ventilator and had come close to death thrice in the past three days. His willpower was forever strong, his love for us ever present. But God had better plans written.

To us, Cancer was by far the most influential teacher of our lives. It completely changed our outlook toward this brief period of existence on Earth. It made us value every single second we spent with each other and showed us that we were capable of emoting a love so pure, that we ourselves were shocked by the sheer strength of it.

And in the end, Cancer LOST.

Nitesh might have been taken away in the bodily form, but he still lives. His passion to defeat cancer with love and elevate the lives of people still lives. His resilient attitude that made him live for 2 whole months more, even when doctors estimated only a couple of days, still lives. And as long as we live, he lives. He lives through our actions and promises to help the rest of humankind. His legacy is indestructible as long as there is life on Earth.